Deep in a Hole

Been a very strange few weeks since I last posted, been in a very dark headspace. I'll blog about it one day. This is just a quick update to let you know that after 5 weeks and 6 days being signed off sick by my doctor I am today going to return to work. Getting back on the horse and hopefully I'll be facing the right way. Wish me luck, it's going to be a strange day.

All Night Lord of the Rings

Not sure about the wisdom of doing this but stayed up the whole of Saturday night watching the complete Lord of the Rings. All three extended editions, back to back. A twelve and a half hour fantasy marathon. Never sat down and watched it in it's entirety before, so an achievement of sorts.

5 On The Fifth

Another first for me. 5 On The Fifth is a photo project organised by Stephen at The State of the Nation UK. This month's theme is 'LINES'.

Bollards - Lewisham

St Johns Church - St Johns

Derelict House - Brockley

The Seagar Tower (under construction) - Deptford Broadway

Phonebox Graffiti - St Johns

Who said lines have to be straight?

Check out the other contributors at The State of the Nation UK blog.

An Overflowing Cistern and Another Lunch With Fifi

The bathroom toilet cistern has been overflowing. The overflow pipe outside has been dripping for the last couple of days. As the overflow pipe is positioned directly above the centre of the back door, this has made going into the garden problematic. I've had to slink out sideways against the opening edge to avoid getting dripped on. So, today I thought, I must fix that. Not a big job, just a case of slightly adjusting the ballcock (don't you love English). So I've tinkered with it a bit, but it seems it wasn't enough, as about an hour after flushing it still overflows. I'll give it another tweak tomorrow. If that doesn't work a plumber may be required.

Went for another pub lunch with Fifi. We both agreed that it would be great to work part-time so that weekday lunches with friends could be a regular habit. There's a flexible hour system at work, so most people tend to take short lunch breaks as it means they can leave earlier, so even lunch with colleagues is a rare thing.

Today, I opted for the Full Veggie English Breakfast, as the salad was the same as I had last week, presumably it's a house speciality. I hadn't actually eaten all morning, so even though it was well past 2 o'clock by the time we ordered, the breakfast seemed a logical choice to me. I was not disappointed. The most amazing veggie sausages I think I've ever had the pleasure of eating and two eggs done to perfection on a toasted slice of ciabatta. Along with the baked beans, mushrooms and herbed tomatoes it was all just - Mmmm. It was the first complete plate of food I've managed to finish in the last 2 weeks - I just haven't had an appetite lately.

I thought I'd include this cartoon. Em is one of my favourite cartoons. It used to appear daily in The London Paper before that folded a couple of years ago and since then Maria Smedstad - the creator - has continued producing the strips online. Its the story of a group of 30-something friends struggling with all the things that everyone struggles with in a big city - love, life, friendship. This latest one so resonates with my own life - it's so embarrassing lining up bottle after bottle of red wine at the checkout ;-)
Check other Em Cartoons here.

Click to Enlarge

Thoughts, Food, a Quiz and Paul Temple

Well, it's been a nothing sort of few of days since I last posted. I have slept for an inordinate amount of time and I'm viewing this as some form of self preservation, either in the fact that it allows me to totally avoid examining any of the greater issues affecting my life, or that it's some sort of down time from the mind games that I appear to be inflicting on myself.

I was reading a blog post by 'the feeling inside' entitled drugs are bad m'kay. It got me thinking about the affect on my state of mind during most of my adult life that my own youthful flirtations with cannabis and other drugs may have had. Did I sacrifice my joie de vivre in later life for a misspent youth toking in graveyards, listening to Tangerine Dream, Gong and Hawkwind? From my research on-line there does appear to be a link between depression and cannabis use, although as with the chicken and the egg, it's never been clearly demonstrated whether dope causes depression or if people with mental health problems naturally incline towards using dope to relieve the symptoms. My gut feeling is that I may have inflicted my 'glass half empty' viewpoint on myself. Drugs are bad m'kay, indeed.

I haven't had the energy, or the spirit to tackle any relationship issues with Bobbin. So we're just coasting along. Not arguing, but not exactly enjoying each other's presence either. Just sort of tolerating. I do think he has been exceptionally kind in not pushing the issue during my current fraught period though. We've even been eating together and exchanging pleasantries about ours days. I got my arse out of bed yesterday and actually cooked for us both. Nothing stunning, a pasta, vegetable and mozzarella bake.

Fifi, more or less insisted that I join her and her American lodger, Vixx, for the local pub quiz at The Talbot. I thought it would provide a break from bouncing off the four walls that are currently being used as my bedroom, so I agreed. I was slightly miffed, therefore when only Vixx turned up. Now she's a lovely woman, and I really like her company, but when we get together it invariably becomes a bit messy. So what should have been an hour or two spent at a pub quiz turned into a late night at an Open Mic session in another local bar. Fiona knows that Vixx and I are incorrigible together so I wonder if this was some sort of plan to get me drunk in an effort to 'cheer me up'. Either way, it didn't work, terrible guilt the next morning. Don't think getting hammered on scotch is particular helpful to my state of mind. I'm probably just being paranoid, no-one forced me to drink the bloody scotch - only got myself and my right arm to blame for that. Anyhow, we came second to last in the quiz with 23 points - it's the taking part that counts.....

I've been listening to quite a few radio plays since being off work. BBC Radio 7 is a comedy and drama station available on digital in the UK. They've been broadcasting an old detective series from 1961 - Paul Temple and the Margo Mystery. I've really been enjoying it, possibly because it harks back to a time, before I was even born, when a certain amount of civility existed in society. All the characters talk with very crisp Received Pronunciation. Very very British.

Rapidshare link here - although I can't vouch for quality or providence of the source files and I'd imagine downloading will infringe copyright.

GUM update. All tests proved negative. However, due to incubation times for various nasty STDs I'll probably have to have the whole lot done again in another couple of weeks just to be on the safe side.